Sunday, May 17, 2009 @ Sunday, May 17, 2009
get together in a huddle

Nowadays, i've been facing lots of hard times with the people around me. Ma family, friends and even NEW people. Recently, i got to know a new guy and he's quite interesting. There's no need for me to elaborate how we get to know each other. Alright? He's from NYP, hmm very impressive.
If i'm not mistaken, it's already been a week we contacted each other. I love talking to him, he's smart, fun, hilarious kinda guy. He's way much more different than the other guys i've met. But most of all, he often brightens up ma day. He always does. Till' one day, he confessed to me that he's interested in me. He finds me quite fun and interesting. I admit that i was having the same feeling for him too. Yes, i was interested in him. After i gave a second thought, the following day, at night, i advised him not to put high hopes on me. His mood changed and i realised it was ma fault. I explained to him that i'm not ready to fall inlove. I'm falling apart cause of my previous ex-boyfriend. I wouldn't wanna be repeating the same old deplorable routine over and over again. I'm not interested in having a relationship YET. And that's final. There's no way i'm gonna change it. He kept accusing me of judging him. But H***, i wasn't alright. You got me all wrong. We've been through this since last 3days! This thing is going nowhere, i'm telling you. He felt upset and thought i was toying him, using him, taking advantage of him and lastly, after i've achieve watever i wanna get from him, i throw him away like an old stock that was left alone on the shelf. How could you think i'm gonna be that atrocious towards you?! I proved him wrong but i guess words can't fully deceive him. He told me to decide what should we do now. Whether i want him to stay, or just act as if nothing had happened. If i would to tell him to just burn down this awful tragic, he will thinks that i take this as a joke. If i would to tell him to stay, he might fall for me more and he'll be having a hard time. I don't want somebody to fall for me, yet i'm not repaying him back by falling for him. This isn't the way it should be. Both parties should be falling for each other at the same time. So i want him to decide instead. He decided to stay. He convinced me that he's gonna get me. Obviously, i don't mind him staying. I would really love him to stay. I guess it's betta that way.

Unfortunately, he brought up this topic again when he called me at 2am plus this morning. I thought we already talked bout' this and it's over. He blamed me for not informing him earlier that i don't want him to put high hopes on me nor falling for me. As this wouldn't have happened. I know i shouldn't have took the plunge. Only if i could predict..

You must submit to your fate.
I acquiesce you to go.
Just go..

Labels: a step further